Glasses! The Desperate Guys of Konoha
by Infinite Inficio
Summary: Sequel to Hair Dyes, but can stand by itself. Naruto wants to be cool and mysterious. Kiba wants to look smart. Lee is... Lee. Shino's glasses are gone... again. All these to woo girls?


I guess this is the sequel to Hair Dyes... but I think it can stand by itself... But you probably wouldn't get some of the jokes, so I suggest you read Hair Dyes first.

**Summary:** Naruto wants to be cool and mysterious. Kiba wants to look smart. Lee is... Lee.Shino's glasses are gone- again. All these to woo girls?

* * *

'Kakashi-sensei…' Naruto started.

'Uh… yeah?' Kakashi replied, not taking his eyes off his Icha Icha Paradise.

'How come Sakura-chan likes Sasuke and not me?'

'Well… you know… girls like that dark-and-mysterious thing… And he's got the _cool_ attitude and good looks, too. Girls couldn't help but like him. Oh, yeah, and he's a very talented ninja. And-'

'So you're saying girls like cool, mysterious guys? Like Shino?' Naruto interrupted.

'One big difference between Shino and Sasuke- Sasuke doesn't have bugs living in his body.'

'So if I'm gonna be all cool and stuff, Sakura-chan might like me?'

'Sure,' Kakashi said without actually listening to Naruto.

'Thanks, Kakashi-sensei!'

'You're welcome…'

……………………..

'Kurenai-sensei, what kind of guys would _you_ like?' Kiba asked.

'Kiba! I'm too old for you! AND you're only twelve! It would be so wr-'

'No! I don't like you! In that sort of way, I mean. Well… how come girls don't like me? I haven't done anything wrong, have I?'

'Well… you're just not the type that Konoha girls are looking for,' Kurenai answered. 'Sasuke, on the other hand…'

'Well, what kind of guys do girls like, then?'

'Well, personally, I like intelligent guys! Oh, a sensitive _and_ smart guy! Too bad I haven't found any yet…' Kurenai continued, disgusted at the lack of good-quality jounin in the village.

'Smart and sensitive, eh?'

'Yes, Kiba… Ooh, and those gentlemanly ones that'd open the door for you, and the cute ones aren't so bad either… And I think that-'

'I think I've heard enough, sensei… I'm… uh… going now… going… away… Bye!'

Kurenai, not hearing him, continued, 'And he would protect you from any sort of danger… And then he'd remember your birthday… and…'

……………………..

'LEE!'

'GAI-SENSEI!'

'LEE!'

'OMG, GAI-SENSEI!'

Lee burst into tears and Gai was confused at the sudden strange reaction.

'I got rejected again!' Lee wailed, losing his youthly youth manners.

'Aww… come on, Lee, she can't resist your manly charms forever!'

'But… she has done that for the 78th time by now…'

'What! Sakura should've been weak in the knees once you wooed her for the thirtieth time at the maximum!'

'B-but… She said I looked weird… and I was thinking… maybe I should cut my eyebr-'

Gai gasped. 'GASP! Don't say it, Lee!'

Lee looked up.

'All you have to do is BE YOURSELF!'

'You really think so, Gai-sensei?'

'Of course I do!' Then he did the nice-guy pose thing and flashed a _very_ bright smile.

Lee's frown turned into a smile, and he cried harder.

'GAI-SENSEI!'

'LEE!'

'GAI-SENSEI!'

……………………..

_The next day…_

Shino woke up. Man, another nice day when he'd just look for more bugs while his team-mates do their own thing… Is life great or what?

He reached out for his glasses on his bedside table. It wasn't there.

'Hm. Maybe it fell down,' he thought reasonably.

But it wasn't anywhere to be seen.

'NOOOOOOOOOOOO!'

……………………..

Sakura and Ino were shopping for lavender-coloured clothes, until Sakura stopped.

'Hey, did you hear something? It's like, someone is being tortured or something…'

'Nah, you probably imagined it.'

But Shino felt like he was actually being tortured. Worse than that, actually.

How did he manage to lose his glasses two times in a week? Who took it this time? Is it Sakura again?

……………………..

'Hey, I guess I _can_ look dark and mysterious… and COOL!' Naruto cheered, as he looked at himself in the mirror.

'These glasses are so awesome!'

……………………..

'For some reason I cannot fathom, I have the urge to kill Naruto the next time I see him…' Shino thought.

……………………..

'Just you wait, Sakura-chan! You won't be able to resist my charms!'

……………………..

'This is too troublesome,' Shikamaru replied. 'I'm not doing it.'

'Please teach me how to be smart!' Kiba begged.

'But I just want to look at the clouds…'

'Have you ever helped anyone out just for the joy of it?'

'Hmm… no, at least I don't remember doing it.'

'I'll find you the best shogi player I know of.'

Shikamaru looked a tad bit more interested. But because Shikamaru is never interested in anything, you can't really tell.

'Why don't you just put on glasses to make yourself look smarter?'

'OHMIGOD, Shikamaru, you're right! You're a genius!' the dog-boy shouted happily.

Then he ran off to go on his search for glasses.

……………………..

_Half an hour later…_

Naruto was still in his house, thinking of the coolest and most mysterious way to approach Sakura (while eating ramen).

_Naruto appeared from the dark corner of an alley, the shadow covering his face._

'_Hey, Sakura, it's me, the most mysterious and the coolest person in the world, Naruto.'_

'_OMG, Naruto, you are so COOL and MYSTERIOUS! Why don't we go on a date?'_

'_I would, Sakura, but being the mysterious and cool person I am, I can't.' Then he disappeared mysteriously._

'_He's so dreamy!' Sakura sighed. 'I'm gonna totally abandon my love for Sasuke!'_

'That's the perfect entry!' Naruto thought happily.

If only he knew that a "mysterious" person wouldn't say their name after admitting to be the most mysterious and coolest guy in the world.

He skipped (yes, that wasn't a misprint) to his bedroom to get his cool glasses after he finished his delicious, mouth-watering ramen.

It was gone. The super-cool dark and mysterious glasses. Gone.

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'

……………………..

'I swear, Ino, I heard it again! But this time, the person's in more agony!'

'Your imagination, Sakura!'

……………………..

'Hey, they _do_ make me look smarter!' Kiba admired, looking at his reflection on the shop window.

'They don't make me look stupid, Akamaru! They make me look _smarter_, okay?'

Akamaru disagreed, but he didn't say anything.

'Now let's woo some women off their feet!'

……………………..

Kiba hummed as he walked through one of the many streets in Konoha. This is gonna be a great day.

'Hey! That's _my_ glasses!' Naruto yelled, seeing Kiba. 'You stole them!'

'They're mine now!'

'But I need to look cool for Sakura!'

'She's not gonna like you, anyway. She's infatuated with Sasuke.'

'Hey! What's the big deal? How come _you're_ wearing my glasses, Kiba?' Shino said, his face covered with a brown paper bag.

Well, let's just say he preferred to be covered up.

'These aren't yours, because I got them from Naruto's house.'

Shino turned towards Naruto. If you lifted the paper bag off his head, you could see that Shino's glaring at the boy.

'Uh… I didn't do it?'

'Attack him, my beautiful bugs!' Shino said dramatically, as dozens of bugs crawled out of his sleeves.

'Actually, attack both of them while you're at it.'

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' Kiba and Naruto shouted, terrified.

……………………..

'Ino, I heard it-'

'Do we need to take a detour to the hospital, Sakura?'

……………………..

'Have you two learnt your lesson?'

'Yeah… never steal other people's glasses…'

'Excellent,' Shino said, as he took off the paper bag and put on his glasses.

'Ouch… those bugs are… ouch…'

Then Naruto spotted Kiba's other team mate, Hinata.

'Hey, Hinata, care to treat me to a ramen?'

Hinata flushed. 'N-Naru… Nar-'

Then she fainted before she managed to even form a word.

'Hinata! Are you okay?'

Kiba scoffed. Naruto has one more admirer than him (who had none), which was a damage to his already low self-esteem.

Thank god he's too obnoxious to tell that Hinata likes him.

……………………..

'Hey, where's that shogi player you promised me?' Shikamaru asked.

'Oh, it's you.' Kiba said moodily.

'What?'

'I only said I'll _find_ the best shogi player I know, and it's you.'

'That's prepostrous! Not to mention troublesome...'

'Argh! I'll tell you what troublesome is...'

……………………..

_And the day after that…_

Lee looked for Sakura joyfully. Gai-sensei is right; he should just act like himself. Of course, Gai-sensei is _always_ right.

'My beautiful flower!' he said, and zoomed towards Sakura.

'Oh no…' she thought.

'Go out with me!' Lee proposed, then winked.

Pause.

A longer pause.

'No!'

Lee hung his head down in shame. Then he ran to a random direction.

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' he screamed.

A little boy looked at Lee with awe.

'Mummy, what's the weird person in a green-'

'Hush, Koji, don't look!'

……………………..

'Sakura, I think it was him all this time,' Ino commented.

'See, I told you I wasn't hallucinating…'


End file.
